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What do you do when one of the people you should love the most is the person you are starting to hate?

When it gets to the point their voice angers you, the thought of having to deal with them turns your stomach, and simply the sight of them just seems to disgust you.

What do you do?

Arguing,yelling, and fighting doesn't help.

Complaining becomes tiresome and ignoring them has become completely impossible.

When they decide to put ambition and greed above it all, including you.

What do you do?

You can't walk away because that person is always there.

When you love them so much you force yourself to overlook the way they have become.

BUT YOU JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

Its become a tub that's been overflowing for the longest of time.

Your feet just now finally got wet and your tired of the pool its made around them.

The water has flooded so much it becomes heavy to even walk through.

What do you do?

You can't walk away because they'd know where you'd go.

The angles you'd turn.

The street you'd walk on.

The train you'd take.

Then what do you do?

Written By: Donna B. Garcia©

Sadomasochism or Self-infliction?

sa⋅do⋅mas⋅o⋅chism
[sey-doh-mas-uh-kiz-uhm]–noun
1.interaction, esp. sexual activity, in which one person enjoys inflicting physical or mental suffering on another person, who derives pleasure from experiencing pain.
2.gratification, esp. sexual, gained through inflicting or receiving pain; sadism and masochism combined. Abbreviation: S-M, S &M
self-in⋅flict⋅ed
[self-in-flik-tid, self-]–adjective
inflicted by oneself upon oneself: a self-inflicted wound.

Definitions courtesy of Dictionary.com
If you honestly take the time to analyze, we all tend to be sadomasochists. We self-inflict ourselves to endure numerous amounts & varieties of pain. Whether it is physically, emotionally, &/or mentally. We allow ourselves to feel the pleasure of living through pain. Some like being abused to feel strength. Some like doing the abusing to feel Strong also. Some do not like it but allow it because of fear. Some simply like it because of the whole liking it rough ordeal. Others experience it obliviously. Either because they have yet to notice or because they choose to blind themselves of their anguish. Like in a relationship. For example: A relationship is every which way of pain you can ever imagine. It doesn't have to be that he/she beats you. It's as if it were a battle if you must. You have to work hard to find someone that understands you or shares at least some common ground with you. Then once you have found them, or they've found you it's twice the work to stay together. Which is where the pain comes in. Sometimes you have to fight outside obstacles.
Another example of pain is those who like challenges. Believe it or not there are large quantities of people that built up an ego, just to see if there is anyone out there that could meet their every single standard. Particularly I think those types of people are the saddest of humans. Not everyone likes someone with an ego. Or they just spend so long looking for a challenge they waste their youth upon it.
But the worst kind of sadists are those who let one person, place, time, or just one thing in general, determine the reason they change. For example: Just because someone doesn't like the way you dress, speak, act...etc. shouldn't hurt you. If you feel right with yourself, then what more should you ask for.
Remember there is always going to be someone who loves you. Someone who hates you. Some one who envies you. But most of all there is always going to be someone who wishes they were you, because only those who have something they dislike of themselves speak of others to feel better about themselves.
Written By: Donna B. Garcia©

Time Stand Still

Its been a thought that has been running in circles in my mind....

Time

What does it stand for?

It is one thing for others to realize your getting older,

But it is another when you realize it yourself.

Then what do you do?

I can't begin to express how many times I've been reminiscing about my childhood in the past few weeks.....

Prom was two weeks ago now & all I kept hearing was "she isn't a baby anymore."

Or the famous "she's growing up."

------->> [I'm not going to stay a child forever.]

I understand,

in their eyes they still see me as that little girl that they carried in their arms.

The one they had to watch over and keep up with. Now im soon to turn 19.

Not that young anymore. But it's inevitable we can't stop time.

We can't go back in time and change the past. We can't take back those things we should've never said. But most of all we can't bring back those we've lost.

Is time truly of the essence?

Do we not value it as much as we should?

Do we take advantage of it?

Time "IS" of the essence because I'd give it all to turn back time and have things the way they were.

We "DON'T" value it because we can't see how ineffable it is.

Due to this we "DO" take advantage of it, & think that we can avoid all the questions of time.

Here is my question though:

"Do we avoid them because we are truly afraid of what the answers will be or because we aren't ready to handle what we already know & hide?"

Written By: Donna B. Garcia©